


one more moment

by sapphic_commander



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 3x07, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Crying, F/F, I'M NOT CRYING YOU ARE, Lexa's death, Sad Clarke Griffin, Titus I will hate you forever, clexa is sad bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:54:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28633581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphic_commander/pseuds/sapphic_commander
Summary: Clarke once told Lexa she wouldn't just stand by and watch her die.Now that's exactly what she has to do.(A parallel fic from when Clarke was arguing with Lexa over the duel with Roan to Lexa's death.)
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 10
Kudos: 29





	one more moment

**Author's Note:**

> I literally post every week, but writing fics is my coping mechanism, so here we are. 
> 
> Warning: Contains Lexa's death, mentions of blood (nothing graphic)

“I know you’re just trying to help, but there’s nothing you can do here,” Lexa said, pacing towards her throne. Her words were harsh, and her tone hard, but Clarke knew she wasn’t trying to be mean. 

Despite this, she felt a surge of defensiveness, her jaw clenching. 

“I can’t just let Roan kill you!” she protested, throwing her hands up. 

With an exasperated expression, Lexa turned to face her, silhouette outlined by the light filtering through the curtains. 

Her posture was strong and rigid, eyes flashing with frustration, and she looked every bit the leader she was.

“If that is to be my fate, you must.” Her tone softened, a fond look in her eyes. “You’re driven to fix everything for everyone, but you can’t fix this.” 

Clarke felt her heart drop down to her toes, a lump rising in her throat. 

“I have to do this on my own, and you have to let me.” For a fleeting moment, Lexa looked sorrowful, and Clarke just wanted to hold her tight and never let go. 

Lexa was going to do this alone, as she always had.

She had always been strong for her people, and had never truly been able to experience peace and happiness and friendship. Not without the burdens of her duties and worries at the forefront of her mind. 

She had so much left to live for. 

_No. No, no, no,_ Clarke’s mind whispered urgently. _Not her. Not Lexa._

_She can’t go._

Clarke took a step forward, moving to meet Lexa. They stood across from each other, the air charged, tension almost visible. 

Desperation made her voice rise, and Clarke found herself shouting, hands clenched at her side.

“I won’t just sit there and watch you die!” 

For a moment, a heavy silence filled the air, and it was simply the two of them, locked in each other’s gaze, both of them breathing hard. 

The sound of the doors opening echoed through the room, and Clarke dropped her gaze towards the dirty, red carpeted floors. 

_This is it._

Steeling herself, Clarke turned, narrowing her eyes at Titus as he entered. He avoided meeting her eyes, instead turning to Lexa with a subdued expression.

He said something to her in Trigedasleng, and she dipped her chin in acknowledgement. 

Lexa’s gaze flickered to Clarke, who couldn’t speak. 

“Then this is goodbye,” she said softly. 

Clarke felt overwhelming panic closing in on her, and she didn’t know what to do.

Should she say something? Hug her?

Kiss her?

Lexa seemed to note the way her lip quivered, and she gave the smallest of smiles. It was slightly sorrowful, but the quirk of her lips brightened her whole face.

“For now,” she added. It was meant to be reassuring, but Clarke felt a hole opening in the pit of her stomach. 

Clarke could only watch her stride out of the room, shoulders thrown back and chin lifted. 

“Goodbye,” she whispered, her words lost in the emptiness of the room. 

**************************************************

Clarke felt a tear drip from her chin as cold realization settled into her bones.

Lexa was going to die.

And all she could do was _watch_. 

_Please, not her._

Lexa looked up at her, eyes full of tears, a rivulet of blood making its way down her chin.

_She has so much left to live for._

_She can’t go._

Here, on her deathbed, she looked vulnerable, open.

Clarke could see she was afraid, despite her reassurances. She looked every bit the child she truly was, eyes wide and each breath a struggle.

Still, she was brave, as she always was, promising that death was not the end, that Clarke didn’t need to fear. 

_Be strong for her, just like she always is for you._

_This isn’t the time to be selfish._

Clarke took a deep breath, steeling herself. She didn’t want to even utter these words, affirm the dreaded fate she knew was inevitable. 

One she failed to prevent. 

But it had to be done, and if it brought Lexa peace, Clarke would do it over and over again. 

She would take her place if she could. 

Clarke leaned closer to be heard, blinking back tears. 

“In peace may you leave the shore,” she whispered, voice wobbling. 

Lexa took a small, shaky intake of breath as Clarke began the prayer-like saying, relaxing into the bloodstained furs she rested upon. 

“In love may you find the next. Safe passage on your travels, until our final journey to the ground.” 

A bitter taste filled Clarke’s mouth, as if the words had left a stain on her tongue.

Lexa’s lip quivered, mouth open as she took shallow breaths. A quiet wheezing sound accompanied each inhale. 

Clarke leaned over her to meet her eyes, tears blurring her vision. She blinked, feeling them drop onto her cheeks.

She ran her hand through Lexa’s hair, softly massaging her scalp, hoping the gesture would be comforting. 

A look of placidity settled over her lover’s face, and Clarke inhaled sharply. 

_This is it._

“May we meet again,” she whispered, her voice cracking as she forced the words out. 

Lexa’s lips quirked up, eyes full of love. Her lashes fluttered, and her breathing slowed. 

“Goodbye,” she murmured, the softest breath of air against Clarke’s face. 

This time, there was no 'for now'. 

This was forever. 

Crying quietly, Clarke leaned down, desperately pressing her lips against Lexa’s one last time. She cupped her love’s face gently, reverently. 

She wanted to convey her love and passion for Lexa before she went. 

She wanted to feel her skin, wanted to share warmth and peace and happiness. If just for a brief moment.

_Please_. 

_Stay with me._

Just one more moment.

One more sly grin after a dirty joke.

One more exasperated sigh that came with long war meetings.

One more puzzled expression when Clarke said a word Lexa didn’t understand, or used Skaikru terminology.

One more stubborn tilt of her chin in an argument.

One more commanding glare from her throne.

One more fond look, with a soft smile accompanying it.

One more snort of laughter in private, with only each other as company. 

One more tearful exchange, with sunlight filtering through curtains, hands clasping together.

More _time_.

But Lexa didn’t kiss her back, unmoving beneath Clarke. 

Pulling back, she sobbed, crumbling at the sight before her. 

Lexa’s gaze was empty, staring up at the ceiling. 

Her hair fanned out around her, hands crossed over her abdomen.

She looked at peace, a ghost of a smile lingering on her face.

_Goodbye, Lexa._

_I will love you forever._

**Author's Note:**

> It's ok, you can cry. I did too.
> 
> Don't worry, if this makes you sad, I also have an endgame clexa fic posted called from now until beyond. Just read that and BOOM cured from Jason Rothenberg's curse :) 
> 
> Can you tell I live and breathe angst? 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Have a great rest of your day <3 (I hope I didn't ruin it with this)


End file.
